oh for shit's sake

[transmothra]

weird, one of my non-LJ pals (but a reader) (i know, creepy, isn't it? an outsider...! COME GET YR OWN, DAMMIT!) was on Trillian and pointed me to this. obviously referring to this post i made earlier today. i guess she still reads this... however, i'm not prejudiced against p/a; in fact one of the coolest people in the whole pentaverse is poly, and from what i can see (3/4 of a continent away that is) it works for her rather nicely most of the time, just like anything would for anybody. i also happen to think that she's somehow cooler than the rest of us for it (ha! take THAT, monogamy-idolators!), because she's got her head wrapped around it real good.

so look: i meant no offense. i was making fun of my own wacky inability to have a relationship in a post-monogamous society. in fact, even monogamy apparently isn't for me. i think praps that maybe nonogamy works better for me, as goofy as that sounds. i'm not real sure why you [wanted to] think that i was trying to be shitty, especially to you specifically. i mean, if i'm going to rant about you, i'll do it a lot less covertly [than that post], just as i have done before. but i'm not going to do that, because i have moved on from all that crap... far beyond, in fact. i was not test-firing ICBMs, much less aiming one at your capital. i was simply setting off some leftover firecrackers on the moon. so sorry i used a word you dislike. anyway, i've been taking a very laissez-faire, c'est la vie attitude about these [you-related] things lately, and it's been working out very nicely, i'm afraid. so no, nothing has been pointed at you for quite some time now, except for this. not intentionally anyway; that's the truth, as honest as it can be.

why am i always apologising for things i didn't do?

and to Autumn, and in fact all poly peeps: hey, if my post managed to offend you in any way whatsoever, then i am sorry; it was definitely not meant to.

man alive, all that from one lousy word?

and here i was: all happy, just now even had a slice of leftover pizza-pie and was about to settle down with some Sigur Ros and Radiohead and contemplate the idyllic Single Life... the next motherfucker who tries to rain on my parade is gonna get it, that's all. (November happens to be FTW month here at transmothra industries, LLC.) well... at least i got to use my new icon appropriately.

Q'sOTD (from memory):
"I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large; I contain multitudes!"
-Walt Whitman

"Take my advice: don't listen to me."
-Neil Young

Comments

[driftwood.livejournal.com]

"Take my advice: don't listen to me."
-Neil Young

Beautiful.

And for the record, I don't understand people who call those who believe in monogamy "judgemental" or "closeminded". I think of myself as a rather open-minded individual, but I don't like dating/fucking more than one person at a time, thanks.

Just an opinion.

[transmothra.livejournal.com]

me either, but some people can apparently make it work out, so points to them. and i think that she was either a) taking it completely the wrong way, or b) listening to too many of those certain eggheads in polyamory who are always barking propaganda like that while simultaneously claiming to be so god damn much more "enlightened" than anybody else. incidentally, there was a brilliant poly vs. mono discussion (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=139294) at the Straight Dope (http://straightdope.com/) message boards (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/) recently, where both sides do that. i could actually hear myself cringe!

but, whatever. meh! whatever works for anyone, works... just not necessarily for anyone else.

actually, i was in the middle of working out my own feelings for it [having a poly relationship] when she slammed a straight dose of 190 proof reality into my veins like a runaway freight train and i decided that it was a no-go. but it wasn't actually the poly aspect that killed it, oddly. that's another story, and i'm so sick of the whole ordeal, i won't even go into it. that's what LJ calendars are for, so that OTHER people can look at the sticky mess that once was yr life while you yrself go someplace else and get on with things as best ye can.


DISCLAIMER: this livejournaller does not use disclaimers to keep others docile and/or sedated while making potentially awkward statements. oops.

Re:

[driftwood.livejournal.com]

One of the things I like most about you is that you always provide much linkage. I am in agreeance with you on this one, but for different reasons I suppose.

[transmothra.livejournal.com]

i don't think i post links enough. but then i guess that may be why i'm posting links more lately.

so what are your reasons then, if i may arsk?

Re:

[driftwood.livejournal.com]

Well, you said you feel this way not so much so just because of pologomy itself, which leads me to believe that you have other reasons to dislike it. I simply don't like the idea of boinking more than one person at a time or my partner doing so.

[transmothra.livejournal.com]

oh, i agree with that, i don't like that idea either... but that's not really what i meant by that. i meant that it wasn't polyamory that killed things with this girl, it was other things. i was ready to ride. well, maybe not READY, but i was gonna go along with it anyway. meh. didn't work out.

(i'm not going to go into specifics because it's i guess still a little sore, and issues are apparently still sensitive on both sides. and mainly because i just want to lay the whole mess to rest (or rather, let it go back to being dead and buried). i fucking hate it when zombies attack from beyond the grave. some things are better dead.)

p.s., Lisa L, if yer readin' this, when i said 'Zombie,' i was talking about the mess we made, not you.

Re:

[driftwood.livejournal.com]

Fair enough, sir. Healing is important, healing is good. :)

[tyrsalvia.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Thanks, Moffra! You're so sweet!

Yeah. Poly isn't perfect for me or anyone else (currently in the middle of an issue with my boyfriend, not going into it until I'm more comfortable that it's fully resolved), but it's what I want right now, and I think I can make it work well enough not to tear everyone apart.

I do support what I'd call 'enlightened monogamy', though - you've genuinely thought about why you want monogamy, you've evaluated other options, and you don't want them. I don't like it when people just do it by default without thinking, but I fully support it when someone has genuinely thought about the alternatives and isn't interested (roughly the same way I feel about heterosexuality, Christianity, and a lot of other mainstream type things).

[transmothra.livejournal.com]

thanks ;)

i do pride myself on sticking my hands into every pudding i see, even if i eventually decide to run away. there's only a very few things i haven't tried yet, and most of them are way too immoral or dangerous even for me (sex with a corpse, heroin, murdering someone, cannibalism, et cetera). the others i'll get around to soon enough.

& i'm sure you'll have things resolved and wrapped up soon enough. you're an excellent conduit and catalyst for resolution. maybe you should be running for president. well, when you're 35 anyway. i hope there's still a human race by then, because if there is, we could use some Good Folks like you to make sure things go smoothlier.

[mistressxenobia.livejournal.com]

"i also happen to think that she's somehow cooler than the rest of us for it"

hee hee hee...
that's not the only reason why she's cooler than most people!
rarrrr, sexy woman!


heh i've decided that i CAN be poly...
i think...
i haven't tested it yet...
well, like REALLY tested it...
i guess it just all depends on the situation...

[transmothra.livejournal.com]

i think it depends largely on the collective emotional pool of all involved, and that it takes just the right combination of minds. this i think is probably even trickier to accomplish than monogamy, which is probably the root cause of all the frustration of the defenders of both lovestyles. i've determined that at present anyway, my mind is not compatible in that way, which i guess is a shame. good luck with your own experiments... remember of course that communication is the most important thing with ANY relationship/s.