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Holly Quinn, diabetic
Aug. 9th, 2006 07:08 pmHolly is finally home! She's doing much better but we had a little too much unsolicited adventures today. Full story here.
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Apr. 8th, 2006 07:18 amlatest songs played on my iTunes.
Holly's still sick. i went to work yesterday. thanks to everyone who helped make my decision easier! i was worried, because i know next to nothing about pleurisy, and i didn't want to make any stupid mistakes or lose my job being paranoid. i wanted to take care of Holly. she seemed to have done alright, sleeping most of the day away, which is probably great for her, poor thing.
i've been working hard at the resume thing. i'm trying to get my old websites to work so i can have a real portfolio. it's a rough road. with different versions of PHP, MySQL, and Apache, what's good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. to use a really olde tyme phrase, which makes me sound and feel really old and lame.
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Holly's still sick. i went to work yesterday. thanks to everyone who helped make my decision easier! i was worried, because i know next to nothing about pleurisy, and i didn't want to make any stupid mistakes or lose my job being paranoid. i wanted to take care of Holly. she seemed to have done alright, sleeping most of the day away, which is probably great for her, poor thing.
i've been working hard at the resume thing. i'm trying to get my old websites to work so i can have a real portfolio. it's a rough road. with different versions of PHP, MySQL, and Apache, what's good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. to use a really olde tyme phrase, which makes me sound and feel really old and lame.
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i know where my REAL priorities lie.
Apr. 7th, 2006 11:00 amif i miss work today, i could lose a job that i hate.
however, Holly has a painful case of pleurisy. it's excruciating, and i don't want to leave her alone, although i'm sure she'll be fine.
we do have bills to pay. but...!
[Poll #705983]
however, Holly has a painful case of pleurisy. it's excruciating, and i don't want to leave her alone, although i'm sure she'll be fine.
we do have bills to pay. but...!
[Poll #705983]
i was out with a sore throat this week and Holly's got pleurisy and severe chest/back pain and maybe a fever too. had to call out sick for her and for myself on behalf of her on Thor's Day.
i know i'll get in trouble for doing that. but i just don't care. i spent all of my loyalty points for that company. i've applied at a few other places; i'm sure to get one or more offers. i just can't keep living at that stupid place and talking to those fluff-headed customers any longer. i swear to fuck, every day i visualize my empty body hanging from the balcony. it's taking too much from me to keep this crap up. i need change. i need a new job, more time to create, and more space to create in. i won't even go into the old "standing by while my sweet old Grandpa dies" bit. i can't even get myself over there to witness it most of the time.
my life is stifling me.
all i want is Holly, and Speck, and a fuckload of cash (that'll take care of the rest of my problems). that's all i want.
i know i'll get in trouble for doing that. but i just don't care. i spent all of my loyalty points for that company. i've applied at a few other places; i'm sure to get one or more offers. i just can't keep living at that stupid place and talking to those fluff-headed customers any longer. i swear to fuck, every day i visualize my empty body hanging from the balcony. it's taking too much from me to keep this crap up. i need change. i need a new job, more time to create, and more space to create in. i won't even go into the old "standing by while my sweet old Grandpa dies" bit. i can't even get myself over there to witness it most of the time.
my life is stifling me.
all i want is Holly, and Speck, and a fuckload of cash (that'll take care of the rest of my problems). that's all i want.
Xmas with the Crunks
Dec. 17th, 2005 08:23 amfor X-mas, Holly got me:
and gorgeous, sweet little teenytiny Speck, the wonderdog! part Chihuahua, part Jack Russell Terrier, and all playtime fun!
we're going to watch Godzilla: Final Wars in a bit.
it's a wonderful life.
- Run Lola Run
- a wonderful, stylish German film about parallel time and choices
- Harold and Maude
- the greatest love story ever told on film; very offbeat and with masterful editing/pacing
- Do The Right Thing
- there is almost no need for any further investigation into morality and the human condition after this film
- Holly noted that the famous pivotal scene in which Mookie throws the garbage can through Sal's shop window was an act of salvation; in doing so, he may have saved Sal's life
- RADIO RAHEEM LIVES!!!
and gorgeous, sweet little teenytiny Speck, the wonderdog! part Chihuahua, part Jack Russell Terrier, and all playtime fun!
we're going to watch Godzilla: Final Wars in a bit.
it's a wonderful life.
and that's that.
Dec. 6th, 2005 02:34 pmi am finished with that former place where i lived the last two years of my life. i did not say goodbye to anybody or to the ghost of the apartment, and i did not look back when i drove away. my time there is now officially over.
and thus endeth a long, tortured chapter of my life. mostly bittersweet and sometimes fairly tormented were my life and times there.
the place is empty, and no one lives there anymore. the shell of a hell of a place and time is now good enough to be dead in my heart.
it's nearly 3pm now, and i must go to work at 8 tonight. i still work with my former lover, but i do not see her there. we do not talk at all any more. we are less than friends; less than enemies.
well... i AM sad about things. but not like you might think.
(tonight, Holly: if i get drunk and cry... it will not be because i miss her, but because she took two years from my life, and she wasted them.)
speaking of chapters: at one time, i was planning on writing a book about what ultimately was a glorified, protracted, bittersweet love affair with Lisa. perhaps some day i still will. but it will only be a few chapters, and it will be in the beginning of that book. that book is not about her any longer.
(and i never had any designs on Holly while i was with Lisa. i felt weak a few times, and sometimes i really thought how easy it would have been to just give up on Lisa and run to Holly. i did openly like Holly, and declared as much to both. but i would have been good. ultimately, i would have been a good man. i would have Done the Right Thing, i think. i now am ironically thankful that Lisa threw me away, because now i can be who i really wanted to be, and be with who i know in my heart i should have been with. things now just make so much more sense this way.)
so fare well Lovington! fare well Lisa!
yes, i think i'll cry tonight, but for all of the best reasons.
and thus endeth a long, tortured chapter of my life. mostly bittersweet and sometimes fairly tormented were my life and times there.
the place is empty, and no one lives there anymore. the shell of a hell of a place and time is now good enough to be dead in my heart.
it's nearly 3pm now, and i must go to work at 8 tonight. i still work with my former lover, but i do not see her there. we do not talk at all any more. we are less than friends; less than enemies.
well... i AM sad about things. but not like you might think.
(tonight, Holly: if i get drunk and cry... it will not be because i miss her, but because she took two years from my life, and she wasted them.)
speaking of chapters: at one time, i was planning on writing a book about what ultimately was a glorified, protracted, bittersweet love affair with Lisa. perhaps some day i still will. but it will only be a few chapters, and it will be in the beginning of that book. that book is not about her any longer.
(and i never had any designs on Holly while i was with Lisa. i felt weak a few times, and sometimes i really thought how easy it would have been to just give up on Lisa and run to Holly. i did openly like Holly, and declared as much to both. but i would have been good. ultimately, i would have been a good man. i would have Done the Right Thing, i think. i now am ironically thankful that Lisa threw me away, because now i can be who i really wanted to be, and be with who i know in my heart i should have been with. things now just make so much more sense this way.)
so fare well Lovington! fare well Lisa!
i saw my grandfather today. maybe it's just bad timing, but the last two times i've seen him, i've not been entirely certain that he was fully aware that i was there, or who i was. he was just laying there, in his chair, eyes not quite shut; swimming in his mind, asleep like some lame angel. my heart sinks; i nearly cracked right there. i don't want to see this. maybe that's the real reason why i've been avoiding my family, avoiding that sacred House of my now long-abandoned childhood.
yes, i think i'll cry tonight, but for all of the best reasons.
(no subject)
Nov. 16th, 2005 02:24 pmResident Evil 4 and Metal Gear Solid 3 both totally rock!
Holly is sick :(
i got my new Roland DM10 digital studio monitors today!! now i can finally mix my music with accurate sound! and i got lots of Ernie Ball Hybrid Slinky and Earthwood strings! and lube! woo hoo!!
Holly is sick :(
i got my new Roland DM10 digital studio monitors today!! now i can finally mix my music with accurate sound! and i got lots of Ernie Ball Hybrid Slinky and Earthwood strings! and lube! woo hoo!!
my love shines brightly
Sep. 13th, 2005 03:03 pmi always knew girls were wonderful, but i had either forgotten, or just never knew they could be so incredibly, amazingly wonderful.
i think i have previously gone through life making bad, rash decisions. i fell in love much too easily. and with people who were mostly great, wonderful people, but not necessarily the right ones for me. i came closest with Ria, who i wish well. my most recent relationship was a glorified affair, a too-long pipe dream with a fucked up teenage brat in adult's clothing (i do wish her wellness, though). i never knew Monica well enough, though we had fun together.
Holly is a dream come true. most people don't get to find that One True Thing. i'm only 33 11/12 years old, and i'm fortunate enough to have kept a close relationship with the one i knew i'd be with someday... i knew we had a terrific chemistry, but i now know that we are two halves of a whole. we are justifiably happy and whole and we spark and we have such funny fun. i love her dearly, and for the first time ever, i know truly that she loves me. she is so devoted and kind.
it seems to me that someone like her would be about perfect for anybody. she's hilarious (such a tight, quick wit), intelligent (just a genius; so creative, and a wonderful writer), down to earth (she's so easy to get along with, and even when we disagree here and there it's just casual, no big deal at all), and so beautiful. she's incredibly sexy, too. i could go on and on about her eyes (so deep and green and rich with soul), her lips (so tender and soft), her hair (never ever saw a woman with a more glorious sexy wavy shoulder-length mane of night-black hair in my life), her curves (so dangerous when she shake dem hips) ...talk about multitasking. crimony!
it's her personality that just kills me. she is absolutely hilarious and goofy and fun, but also so sweet and sensitive and caring.
i am a sucker for goofy. i admit it, here and now. that's what i like best. she's such a fucking goofball. you can tell she was raised by hilarious but kind parents.
and she's my hero. she is the strongest woman i have ever met. Ria was tough (last i knew she was working for the Peace Corps in Mali, after having lived for many years overseas, making her own life). but Holly has been through so much, a great deal of it terrifying to most mortals. it would scare you to know (it still frightens me to death). but she's come back victorious like some proud lion of a warrior from an endless war. her strength is beyond capturing in simple words. i never knew a human being could be so tough. it kills me that she's this sweet, gentle girl most of the time. she has virtually slaughtered her pain, conquered human fear, vanquished negativity from her life. it would be impossible for any man to not be happy around someone capable of such positivity, who has seen darkness in daylight. she is built of sunshine.
and she is my Sun (and Moon, and Stars), and i am happy to be her twinkling little world. i face her with darkness at my back and her light filling my eyes and giving me life.
she has revived me, changed my life, and i am finally healed of my own pain through her.
i think i have previously gone through life making bad, rash decisions. i fell in love much too easily. and with people who were mostly great, wonderful people, but not necessarily the right ones for me. i came closest with Ria, who i wish well. my most recent relationship was a glorified affair, a too-long pipe dream with a fucked up teenage brat in adult's clothing (i do wish her wellness, though). i never knew Monica well enough, though we had fun together.
Holly is a dream come true. most people don't get to find that One True Thing. i'm only 33 11/12 years old, and i'm fortunate enough to have kept a close relationship with the one i knew i'd be with someday... i knew we had a terrific chemistry, but i now know that we are two halves of a whole. we are justifiably happy and whole and we spark and we have such funny fun. i love her dearly, and for the first time ever, i know truly that she loves me. she is so devoted and kind.
it seems to me that someone like her would be about perfect for anybody. she's hilarious (such a tight, quick wit), intelligent (just a genius; so creative, and a wonderful writer), down to earth (she's so easy to get along with, and even when we disagree here and there it's just casual, no big deal at all), and so beautiful. she's incredibly sexy, too. i could go on and on about her eyes (so deep and green and rich with soul), her lips (so tender and soft), her hair (never ever saw a woman with a more glorious sexy wavy shoulder-length mane of night-black hair in my life), her curves (so dangerous when she shake dem hips) ...talk about multitasking. crimony!
it's her personality that just kills me. she is absolutely hilarious and goofy and fun, but also so sweet and sensitive and caring.
i am a sucker for goofy. i admit it, here and now. that's what i like best. she's such a fucking goofball. you can tell she was raised by hilarious but kind parents.
and she's my hero. she is the strongest woman i have ever met. Ria was tough (last i knew she was working for the Peace Corps in Mali, after having lived for many years overseas, making her own life). but Holly has been through so much, a great deal of it terrifying to most mortals. it would scare you to know (it still frightens me to death). but she's come back victorious like some proud lion of a warrior from an endless war. her strength is beyond capturing in simple words. i never knew a human being could be so tough. it kills me that she's this sweet, gentle girl most of the time. she has virtually slaughtered her pain, conquered human fear, vanquished negativity from her life. it would be impossible for any man to not be happy around someone capable of such positivity, who has seen darkness in daylight. she is built of sunshine.
and she is my Sun (and Moon, and Stars), and i am happy to be her twinkling little world. i face her with darkness at my back and her light filling my eyes and giving me life.
she has revived me, changed my life, and i am finally healed of my own pain through her.
