(no subject)

so one day i was surfing around, and i get a pop-up from one of those lame internet dating sites. the pop-up had a chick i think i used to know back in the day. i registered there for free and forgot about it. then i get an e-mail saying something or other, went there again, and as it turns out, a LOT of people from my town are on that site. i flipped through, noted the hotties, sent a few "heya"s and then today one of them messages me.

turns out i knew this girl back in high school. and what a hottie she is! always was pretty damn pretty, but yikes! so we got to talking. pretty cool. and she's into middle eastern dance, too! (hrmn... ...?)

btw, here's my profile. think i'll get any other good hits?

i am a Discordian Pope and a "friend" of "Bob". Me am Bizarro. i bathe frequently and have been found to contain well over a billion atoms. of all the names i've ever gone by, i like the unused ones best. My favourite pastime is being. i am missing a few dots, but otherwise am well connected. i like wearing pants in public. The thing that interests me the most is much too large to carry around on a daily basis. i can communicate freely using my pineal gland. i am a devout agnostic. more reliable information is available via the web at transmothra dot com.

(no subject)

mistressxenobia r0x0rs... hee hee. funfunfun! what a badass chick!

i linger i sweat i bled i died i hoped i would rise again and i think i will

hmm. sigh.

i see stuff like this and at first i wish there were more clarity as always (how vain of me!) (and like that's ever going to happen anyway!), but then in a second (a flash, really), i realize that it has nothing at all to do with me; i was only a brief summer fling after all. and i know from her deeds that she couldn't have cared very much. not that much anyway.

i dunno. i just don't know.

and i wish.

i wish that someone would... feel something like that, that heartfoolishly serious, for me. why do all the deserving saps like me get the shaft all of the time?

+ why can't i just let go, just fall away from the cliff and learn to fly the hard way? damn me & my stupidity + othersuch foolishness. i will perform a paganistic ritual soon (on the next full moon) to rid me of this bad habit of hanging on to hopeless hope like a dopeless dope. i let on like i get on but i haven't yet done.

tomorrow, no more whining. some ass needs to be kicked, and i know just the boot (mine), and just the ass (mine as well).

bizarre physics for morons; chapter twenty three, chorus five

did you know that we are songs?

just thought i'd point this out... the model of an atom is just that: a model; no more, no less. it is a convenient way of describing what we cannot directly experience. see, atoms sometimes act as particles, and sometimes as waves. how to reconcile this? string theory helps out. according to string theory, subatomic particles are actually more akin to little loops of string... that vibrate. shamans (as well as occultists of practically every stripe) have known about this for years. all matter is essentially nothing more substantial than light, or music (though obviously in a difficult spectrum to articulate in art). but the point is that we are just that: spectra. furthermore, the way that a string vibrates has some kind of relation to one or more of the four fundamental forces of nature (the weak, the strong, the electromagnetic, and the gravitational forces), giving us the appearance of more substantial stuff. but when it all comes down to it, we are all made of starsongs.

---

i witnessed Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle in action the other day! hail Eris indeed... i had a bowl of pretzels in hand, and as i crunched, a small piece about an inch or so long fell down and landed in the bowl. so what's the big deal? it fell in such a way that it hit the outer edge of the bowl's rim, with the greater part of its mass, which should have sent it hurtling towards the floor instead! i was weirded out for a second there, but of course we all know how oddly subtle goddess can work when She's bored. freaky-ass beeyatch.

lyrics

Chris Bell (of Big Star)- "I Am The Cosmos"
("I Am The Cosmos" single, 1977 (b/w "You and Your Sister"))

Every night I tell myself
"I am the cosmos, I am the wind"
But that don't get you back again

Just when I was starting to feel okay
You're on the phone
I never wanna be alone

Never wanna be alone
I hate to have to take you home
Wanted too much to say no, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Never wanna be alone
I hate to have to take you home
Want you too much to say no, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

My feeling's always have been something
I couldn't hide, I can't confide
Don't know what's going on inside

So every night I tell myself
"I am the cosmos, I am the wind"
But that don't get you back again

I'd really like to see you again
I really wanna see you again
I'd really like to see you again
I really wanna see you again
I'd really like to see you again
I really wanna see you again
I never wanna see you again
I really wanna see you again

(no subject)

damn.damn.damn.damn.damn.

got a teaspoon of gasoline and just enough cash for another half a cup. and i couldn't find ANYBODY to go with me to the protests in Cincy tonite. shit. gonna go online & see if there are any closer to me, like Dayton or Springfield (fat chance). damn, i really wanted to go tonite, too. at least i can be content in the fact that a lot of people are already down there speaking out on behalf of the ACTUAL American people. it just sucks that Prezidayunt Hillbilly Dubya YEEEEHAWWWW!!! is right here in my neighborhood, and there's nothing i can do to slap him around any.