jeremy progress
Nov. 3rd, 2002 03:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
transmothrasomewhere along the way i've dropped over 15 pounds... two in just the last couple of days. even Tony mentioned it yesterday. i haven't seen the 170s for years. maybe that's why i'm getting carded for smokes again lately. oh yeah, and my skin-tight blue jeans are getting baggy. there's another $40 down the tube.
i think this is the plan i'm sticking with: SlimFast(tm) and Subway(tm), Diet Coke(tm) or Pepsi One(tm), plus 500mg of L-carnitine twice a day, along with 2x 200mg alpha lipoic acid and gigo horse-pill one-a-day vitamins that have so many ingredients that i'm fairly certain that some of them minerals are just rocks.
i've been slacking on the exercise tip though lately. it's too cold to work out in the patio where the treadmill and weights are. i'll figure something out.
now if only i could afford to have my jaw shortened so i wouldn't look so much like the younger cousin of the mid-eighties New Wave short-hair version of Todd Rundgren (and have this mean crossbite/underbite). i think his skull changed during that period. or maybe he was temporarily replaced by an alien lookalike. damn, i'm an alien lookalike.
anyway, things are going remarkably well. gimme until december and i'll be lookin pretty good (from the neck down anyway)! my weight in high school was about 160-165. i wore size 29 jeans (i'm size 34 now - ugh! altho' as i've said that's getting looser at least). some of my jeans were even 28s. i want to get a nice pair of tight mofo jeans, because i have an ass that nations fight terrible, bloody wars over. ironic, since i'm a peacenik. anyway, hells yes, my ass is glorious. so are my calves. rock on, i rule. it's this freakin' beer-belly pudge i can't stand. at least it's shrinking, and a lot faster than i thought.
i think this is the plan i'm sticking with: SlimFast(tm) and Subway(tm), Diet Coke(tm) or Pepsi One(tm), plus 500mg of L-carnitine twice a day, along with 2x 200mg alpha lipoic acid and gigo horse-pill one-a-day vitamins that have so many ingredients that i'm fairly certain that some of them minerals are just rocks.
i've been slacking on the exercise tip though lately. it's too cold to work out in the patio where the treadmill and weights are. i'll figure something out.
now if only i could afford to have my jaw shortened so i wouldn't look so much like the younger cousin of the mid-eighties New Wave short-hair version of Todd Rundgren (and have this mean crossbite/underbite). i think his skull changed during that period. or maybe he was temporarily replaced by an alien lookalike. damn, i'm an alien lookalike.
anyway, things are going remarkably well. gimme until december and i'll be lookin pretty good (from the neck down anyway)! my weight in high school was about 160-165. i wore size 29 jeans (i'm size 34 now - ugh! altho' as i've said that's getting looser at least). some of my jeans were even 28s. i want to get a nice pair of tight mofo jeans, because i have an ass that nations fight terrible, bloody wars over. ironic, since i'm a peacenik. anyway, hells yes, my ass is glorious. so are my calves. rock on, i rule. it's this freakin' beer-belly pudge i can't stand. at least it's shrinking, and a lot faster than i thought.
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no subject
Date: 2002-11-03 02:01 pm (UTC)Thank you, I needed the laugh.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-03 02:40 pm (UTC)...what's so funny?
<face>
Re:
Date: 2002-11-03 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-03 04:02 pm (UTC)i may boast it
(in fact, many do toast it!),
but i've been known to POST it!
i've been known to paste it!
i'll often even baste it,
and i've even let others taste it!
...because, let me tell you, people have found religion in my ass! people have looked upon it and found themselves staring into the gaping mouth of god hizself! many pilgrims have made visits to pay their tributes to my ass! my ass has solved major emotional crises! my ass has healed old wounds and brought comfort to the disabled. nowhere on earth has there been found a more relaxing or pleasant environment to be around than the vicinity directly facing my soft yet firm, rounded cheeks! all the scientists know that no ro-bot ever built can be said to be perfect, unless it sports an ass at least one tenth as great as mine; and that no clone would ever be worthy of carrying my ass-gene! it is a physiological impossibility to engineer a greater, more beautiful, or wiser ass than mine! the greatest works of art that humankind has yet produced look silly and hideous by comparison! my ass has usurped thrones and deposed kings! it's upended queens, who've pleaded and begged for more! there is no greater gift nor treasure that has been showered upon humanity by the gods, than my sacred, holy ass!
but perhaps best of all, my ass is for sale!
Re:
Date: 2002-11-03 04:07 pm (UTC)...how much? ;)
" Easy To Do Bidness Wit' "
Date: 2002-11-03 06:42 pm (UTC)Re: " Easy To Do Bidness Wit' "
Date: 2002-11-03 06:47 pm (UTC)Can you catch a shooting star? Can you put the sky into your mouth? Can you say to an earthquake 'Hey, hold still for a second'? NO! (such as mango)
no subject
Date: 2002-11-03 07:32 pm (UTC)