There goes that... but all for good

I just took a small plunge i can't very well afford in order to notch the music-creation thing up a little. All i bought were good distortion and digital delay pedals, plus some wall-juice and signal cables. But that's a pretty big $200 right now. I'm kind of stressing it, but the sale on Digitech gear at MF ends this weekend. I only have a week until payday, but even then, i have to pay rent and utilities out of that.

I need this like air to breathe.

Music is absolutely everything to me, and i can NOT just keep fucking around anymore: i'm getting old, and my body aches, and i haven't really had much creative output in years. Much worse: i have not yet left my mark, and so am unfit to die, having done nothing remotely profound with my life. If nobody comes to my funeral, or if there is no crying and no dancing, then i don't even want to die at all. Not until i get it right.

And... i have an ulterior motive: i want to make a rock record that my grandpa can be proud of, before he leaves this world forever. I hate the thought of him dying with nothing going on at the last leaf on the family tree. It's like letting him down in the worst possible way ever. So i am even more desperate to get started as soon as possible.



Someday, you will be able to hear the music that i hear in my head, and you will rejoice and/or despair. Possibly both at once.